Most people think education gives you everything you need to make it in the working world. But what education actually gives you just are the basic skills to get started.
And yet, we're supposed to know what to do right off the bat, and there's the dangerous disconnect.
Do you remember the first time you seriously "failed" when you didn't think you should have succeeded? It's a scary drop because there was no warning signs, no soft landing - just the hard slap of reality. I remember mine - not being cast even though I had successfully navigated the final round auditions for principal or main supporting roles in 2 major global productions. I received the news for both shows within days of each other and I remember sitting in a park trying to recall every detail of both final round auditions and trying to find the mistakes.
I started to beat myself up: "I'm supposed to be able to ace these auditions. A role like this doesn't come up often, much less two roles ... and still I blew it!" I started to question everything. By the end of 20 minutes, I had worked myself into such a state that I was asking myself: "Should I even be an actor???"
I spent much of the next 3 days just sleeping and re-playing those auditions in my mind - unable to look past all the mistakes I'd seen and unable to get past the missed opportunities.
I didn't know what to do, and I "ALWAYS" know what to do. So I fought against the helplessness, trying to find a way to "fix" myself. But all it did was make me feel worse. All it did was make me feel more terrified and stuck. No amount of training could have prepared me for this.
Eventually I had to admit that I didn't know what to do. And ironically, once I allowed that realization to settle into my body, a thought occured to me: "talk to someone". And still I fought it because I thought about how humiliating it was going to be. So it took me a few more days but I eventually did reach out to someone in my tribe.
Education, experience and life might prepare you for "some" situations, but life has a way of finding our deepest insecurities and shining a light into that space.
And it's OKAY not to know what to do all the time. It really really is.
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My name is Eu Jin. I recently embarked on a career as a professional actor after 20 years in the corporate world. A big supporter of personal growth, I also dedicate time and energy in performing arts education, specifically in the arena of practical approaches to inner health because I believe that lays the groundwork for a sustainable career as an artiste. If you would like to find out more or share your thoughts, please leave me a message on the "Contact" page of my website. Thank you very much!