We all compare ourselves to others. What started out as an innocent by-product of the industrial revolution has become a world-wide, defining characteristic of modern society. Comparing ourselves to others is in itself not a bad thing; wanting to do well in our endeavours is in itself not a bad thing. What - however - has become harmful is the association we have made of that result to our value, or future and our self-worth.
Just look at the number of kids in some 1st world countries who commit suicide because they didn’t achieve the grades that they are expected to?
Everyone I know struggles with this. Even the one who has become the best in the world must now struggle to hang onto their position. It never ends. And yet, the cycle of comparisons continue.
How else are we going to determine our place in society if we don’t compare ourselves? Modern society has decided that a certain level of accomplishment (be in educational, financial, etc.) decides your place on the ladder, and unless we decide to remove ourselves from modern society, it is impossible to get off the ladder.
And I want to stress that being on the ladder is not a bad thing. What is bad is how our self-worth and value are inextricably linked to how successful we are.
In my journey out of the corporate world of supply chain management (which was a very good marker) for how “successful” I was in society) into the world of the performing arts (which suffers from a bad reputation as “real work” and therefore is not as “valuable”), I’ve had to find a way to decouple my value and self-worth from what I do. I’ve had to learn to see with more than just my eyes. I’ve had to learn to see with my heart.
And what did my heart say? Fortunately, it did saying run off and become an actor, live of love and joy … no … what my heart said was “find our what you want your life to mean, then do the things that bring you there”.
In many ways, my work in supply chain management was work which gave my life the meaning that it wanted. But because I took time to discover what meaning I wanted my life to have, I started to see other avenues I could accomplish this with.
And let me say this: it is something I ask myself every day. Is this task something which moves me closer to giving my life the meaning that I want it to have? And when I asked myself that question, it becomes clear what I have to do … and all of a sudden, aligning it to what society says is the “right” thing to do becomes a lot easier.
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My name is Eu Jin. I embarked on a career as a professional actor after 20 years in the corporate world. I am a big advocate of personal growth in the performing arts. I dedicate time and energy in performing arts education, specifically in the arena of practical approaches to inner health because I believe that this lays the groundwork for a sustainable career as an artiste.
If you would like to engage in a conversation about a healthy inner life practice, please leave me a message on the "Contact" page of my website and a way to contact you. Thank you!