I was recently given the tremendous opportunity to step into one of my cover roles in “The King and I” for a three week period over the Christmas and New Year period. Prior to this, I had gone on as the Kralahome only four times since the start of the tour.
It has been an exercise in presence, trust, nerve, joy and gratitude.
Presence because I reminded myself every single day to stay in the awareness of the moment - regardless of what I was feeling or what was happening.
Trust because I reminded myself every day to believe in the work I had done, to believe in my own process, to believe in what I was capable of without condition and to believe in the trust the producers and creatives were putting in me
Nerve because fear and doubt reared its ugly head at every opportune moment; nerve because I told myself I had to be as good as everyone else on stage who had performed their roles at least 150 time more than I had; nerve because my ego would take one good show and demand that every subsequent show be better than the last one; nerve because my parents, agent and dear ones were in the audience and nerve because my ego kept placing the future of my entire career on these three weeks.
Joy because of the moments of release I felt constantly throughout these last three weeks; joy because of the moments of clarity and acceptance that embraced me between moments of doubt and joy because I got to tell the story of this enigmatic man in my own way.
Gratitude because there is nothing in the world like knowing that the entire cast and crew were right there to support me at every moment; gratitude for the ability to see and feel everything so deeply; gratitude for the words of encouragement and for the lady who grabbed my hand after the show to thank me through tears for the work; gratitude for the courage to have stepped up, to keep playing and the courage to have kept going, kept evolving and kept telling his story.
This is another step in my journey, and rather than place a condition of success on what happens next, I will allow myself - simply - to enjoy this moment.
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My name is Eu Jin. I embarked on a career as a professional actor after 20 years in the corporate world. I am a big advocate of personal growth in the performing arts. I dedicate time and energy in performing arts education, specifically in the arena of practical approaches to inner health because I believe that this lays the groundwork for a sustainable career as an artiste.
If you would like to engage in a conversation about a healthy inner life practice, please leave me a message on the "Contact" page of my website and a way to contact you. Thank you.