Is it? To be scared of getting exactly what you want? On the surface, it sounds so self-indulgent, reeking of fake humility and I mean … c’mon … only people who don’t have “real” problems would ever ask such a question.
But let’s just take a few steps back and consider - if people really did get exactly what they wanted, why it is that they would be scared.
We live in a world obsessed with achievements, obsessed with being number one and obsessed with being famous and rich. Many people spend their entire lives trying to obtain one of more of these things, whether it’s trying to top your class, whether it’s trying to get that job, whether it’s getting more “likes” or followers. The reality is, most of us won’t get what we want because there can only be 1 person at the top, 1 person who gets that job … and unfortunately, society celebrates the victor and shames the loser. Losers. Plural. The person who ends up as runner-up feels as lousy as the person who came in last place. And we get beaten down, we get used to “losing” and maybe at some point, we realize that we’re never going to get what we want.
So when - either by luck, design, talent, hard work, tenacity or sheer stubbornness - we get exactly what we want, most of us don’t know what to do with it. We’re not used to getting what we want, and before we’ve had a chance to savour it, we start to worry about losing it. We start to worry that maybe someone made a mistake. We start to worry that maybe we’re actually not good enough.
So much of today’s world thrives on our insecurity. In the world of the performing artist, it can be amplified a million fold after the 100th unsuccessful audition. So much so that when you actually land that job on the 101st try, you don’t really know how to react.
So how do we get out of this vicious cycle? Well … in some ways, we can’t. We HAVE to live in the world. We have to play the game. We have to submit for auditions. We have to audition. The question I have is whether you’ve defined (for yourself) what it is that you want out of the experience. If landing that job is your own critieria for “getting what you want”, then it’s possibly going to be a long and painful journey. But if improving on that one thing that you have difficulty with (in my case, it could be hitting that ONE note properly), then if I hit that note properly, then I’ve gotten exactly what I want.
In the last year - everytime I’ve had the opportunity to audition - I’ve set tiny tiny goals (like hitting that ONE note I struggle with properly). I will say this … it has had a knock-on effect to the rest of the audition. And ultimately, that could be the one differentiating factor that actually lands you the job.
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My name is Eu Jin. I embarked on a career as a professional actor after 20 years in the corporate world. I am a big supporter of personal growth and I dedicate time and energy in performing arts education, specifically in the arena of practical approaches to inner health because I believe that this lays the groundwork for a sustainable career as an artiste.
If you would like to engage in a conversation about a healthy inner life practice, please leave me a message on the "Contact" page of my website and a way to contact you. Thanks!