Change is scary. Being in new environments unsettles many people. Whether it's a new job, a new country, a new school, a new family or life-altering news, it can be destabilizing, stressful and sometimes downright terrifying ... and often for long periods of time. We find that we don't know the rules, the lingo, the culture, the cliques, we can't be ourselves and we constantly look for validation.
Two weeks ago, I started my very first job in a brand new industry in a new country after coming from 20 years in another career, and if I am completely honest, I have spent the last 2 weeks feeling like an imposter in head lights. I'd created stakes that were so incredibly high, and put so much pressure on myself to be perfect in every way ... and for the first 2 days, I succeeded in being a robot. But on the 3rd day, the one thing that I had been the most meticulous and fastidious about in my preparations unexpectedly faltered. All of a sudden, I had to tell the company that I could not deliver what they had planned for me to deliver, and my fear took on a whole different reality. I found myself becoming hyper sensitive to every look the team made my way, every word that was said (as well as every word I made up that wasn't said), and I found myself dreading that I would be called up for a 'come to Jesus' conversation. More than before, I started looking for validation, for approval and all that I saw was the lack of it ... and it was crushing.
But decades of practicing self-management and self-awareness also kicked in ... and much like an app running in the background, a part of me started looking for a way through this emotional muddle. I am - if one thing - stubbornly tenacious about learning from what life gives me. After 2 weeks, I discovered this: I have nothing to fix. I have everything to learn, but nothing to fix. Fixing implies that something is broken, and for the longest time in my life, I thought that I was broken. But I'm not. I am exactly the way that I am. And I can learn. There is something to learn from every person and circumstance.
While I may be new to this particular industry, discipline, resilience, patience, trust, courage, awareness and an ever-thoughtful practice are universal recipes for success.
And that validation that I was desperately looking for to justify my place? There is only one person in the world who can give that to me: MYSELF.
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My name is Eu Jin. I embarked on a career as a professional actor after 20 years in the corporate world. I am a big advocate of personal growth in the performing arts. I dedicate time and energy in performing arts education, specifically in the arena of practical approaches to inner health because I believe that this lays the groundwork for a sustainable career as an artiste.
If you would like to engage in a conversation about a healthy inner life practice, please leave me a message on the "Contact" page of my website and a way to contact you. Thank you.