Courage is such a fragile friend.
Some days, I find myself soothed by the progress I am making to build a career I can call my own. Even on those days, it often feels like a front I’ve put up to will myself into believing I’ve made the right decisions. There are also the few really good days where I feel like I am changing lives and I’ve done something to leave the world a better place. I try to pin those days near the front because I know I will need them on the really bad days when I feel like I’ve gone down a rabbit hole I cannot back out of; the sides of the narrow path I am on have fallen away and I am just one small step away from the abyss of nothingness; when all I want to do is stop and curl up and hide, but I can’t - so I have to keep going down this path that’s crumbling away with every step I take.
That’s what courage feels like to me.
And that’s ok. Courage doesn’t have to be big, bright and loud all the time. It can be small, determined; it can be fragile and scared too.
It’s also about being aware of how society has defined courage, what is expected when people say “have courage” and how we are expected to respond to courage. Is courage meant to be something we either have or don’t have? Do people fundamentally believe other people are braver than them, and are therefore better than them? If courage isn’t grounded in morality, is it still courage? Is the courage to take someone’s life still courage? If someone is instrumental in helping you overcome a big challenge, how much of that was actually you being courageous or were you relying on someone else?
Being on stage, writing new work, getting up in front of a class, sharing parts of yourself that you aren’t proud of all take courage. Sometimes getting out of bed takes courage. And reminding myself that every single person is courageous multiple times in a day simply because they make a choice about their life … isn’t that enough?
-
My name is Eu Jin. I embarked on a career as a professional actor after 20 years in the corporate world. I am a big advocate of personal growth in the performing arts. I dedicate time and energy in performing arts education, specifically in the arena of practical approaches to inner health because I believe that this lays the groundwork for a sustainable career as an artiste.
If you would like to engage in a conversation about a healthy inner life practice, please leave me a message on the "Contact" page of my website and a way to contact you. Thank you.