The COVID19 pandemic will be a defining moment in many of our lives, and at this point, it can be difficult to see any sort of light at the end of the tunnel. Because of that, we find ourselves holding our breaths, hoping that the next corner we turn will give us a glimpse of this light, some kind of release. Days pass, weeks pass and now months begin to pass, turning corners everyday without the hint of a light. In fact, the tunnel we’re in is starting to feel longer, darker and narrower.
But the end of the tunnel is there. Just because we can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there.
For some, the loss of loved ones, livelihoods and dreams they have spent their whole lives nurturing and building, their homes, their health are things they might never recover from. I can only speak from my own experience and perspective.
Like my previous post, the question of whether COVID19 has and will continue to change us is an important one. The next question then becomes what I choose to do about it.
I am incredibly fortunate to have a family that I can be with during this time. I am lucky that we have the resources to keep ourselves as healthy as possible, and I am blessed to be in a financial situation that allows me to ride out this storm.
So increasingly, I find myself asking this question: what do I want my life to look like after COVID19? It helps me to visualize a perspective after we have found a way to co-exist with this virus. What are the lessons I want to learn to take forward to the future? How can I reframe an incredibly challenging situation? Now to be clear, I don’t HAVE to do any of these things and there are days I don’t feel like being sensible. It is a choice I make every single day because amidst all the things I am not in control of, my choice in this matter is the one thing that I am in control of.
I am re-discovering space to re-connect with my inner life in ways that a full and busy life did not previously allow me to. I find that I am now able to devote entire weeks to writing, to meditation, to learning a new language … and I am finding what joy holding prolonged space for these things can bring. And I ask myself - can I keep holding this space in the future?
I think about the possibility of taking 6 months every few years to go to a local community, live there and contribute. I think about taking time to re-connect in a deep, meaningful way that I am able to now and I wonder - is this possible?
I have taken time out before, but it was always conditional. There was always an external force defining the start and end point. Now I get to decide what those start and end points are depending on a deeper connection to my state of being, and what a joy that has been.
I am being productive because I want to, not because I have to be. I am building foundations for life after COVID19. Whether any of it comes to pass, I don’t know. All I can do is make the choice everyday.
So what will your life look like #AfterCOVID19?
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My name is Eu Jin. I am a professional actor, writer, educator and coach. This blog charts my inner journey and my personal Healthy Inner Life Practice. I am committed to supporting and nurturing performing arts education - specifically in the area of career sustainabilty through practical approaches to inner health. If you would like to engage in a conversation about a healthy inner life practice, please leave me a message on the "Contact" page of my website. Thank you.